The Great Debate of Wayne Hills: Canoe or Kayak?

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By Dylan Orren-King and Kendra Levendusky, Staff Writers

One of the greatest debates of our generation is currently happening, and no it’s not about political candidates, which college you want to go to, or even which team will win the Super Bowl. The Great Debate is all about one thing: Kayak or Canoe?

It all began in room 212, where seniors Igor Solo and Connor Tarpey decided to store a boat for a Hamlet soliloquy.

Connor Tarpey, a senior at WHHS said, “Pretty much my friend Igor and I thought it would be funny to bring in the kayak… we asked our teacher Mrs. DelMoro if we could, and we just did it that night.”

The vehicle remained in the classroom for awhile in a small corner of room 212 for multiple weeks.

“We then hid it in a bush in pancake and snuck it in the next morning.” said Igor Solomonovic, a senior at WHHS, “We kept it in class that day occasionally bringing it out into the halls to ride in but didn’t take it out until the spirit rally last week.”

The two sides to this argument are straight to the point. One side claims it is a kayak, the other says it is a canoe. The period five Journalism class, which has been the most affected by the boat in question, have differing opinions on the classification of the sailing craft with arguments breaking out between colleagues, friends, and others not even involved.

“A canoe is wider and a kayak is slimmer,” said journalism student Jeremy Hedian, “Generally, a kayak holds people in a straight line rather than in a canoe where people can sit next to each other. I think what was in the classroom was a canoe because it was wider.”

Hedian clearly exhibits his beliefs of being pro-canoe. His reasoning for his choices is clear and reasonable: a kayak is slim and a canoe is wide. He still lacked knowledge on the overall anatomy of a canoe versus a kayak but stands firm in his opinion.

“It’s a kayak.” said senior staff writer for WHPP Jason Sanfilippo, “It just doesn’t look like a canoe… when I think of a canoe that’s not what I think of.”

Jason is a pro-kayak supporter. Simply by looking at the transportation vehicle, he states that it is clearly a kayak, and has no other standard for judging it. When asked if he knew that canoe is actually a synonym for kayak he said, “No, but it’s still a kayak.”

The viewpoint for the pro-canoe side is although some would automatically classify this liquid flotation device as a “kayak”, obviously these people are not taking into consideration the feelings of said water transportation vessel. The United States of America was built on the principles of life, liberty, and freedom for all. If vehicles aren’t allowed to express their beliefs then we have not freed ourselves from the chains that have held our country back for centuries. A country of respect is for all to enjoy.

Alternatively, one could clearly identify the watercraft as a Kayak because it did, in fact, have an open cockpit (a place for the person to sit into and slide out of), these cockpits are generally one in front of the other (in a double kayak) and are meant to be seated for one person. A canoe has to look at an open boat that is more rounded out with a tip at each end. What was in the classroom was definitely not a canoe, making the keel and obvious kayak.

Although kayaks and canoes are often mistaken for one another, to decipher them it is a rather simple process. To deepen one’s understanding: all similes are metaphors but not all metaphors are similes. All kayaks are canoes but not all canoes are kayaks. Speaking in general terms the confusion can be justified but it is unfortunately not specific enough.