CDC Releases “Preptoaredness 101: Zombie Apocalypse”

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To many, 2021 has felt like a series of unpredictable twists and turns. But it seems that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has every possible disaster accounted for– even zombie apocalypses.

The possibility first arose back in the 16th century when the French astrologer Nostradamus predicted a zombie apocalypse to happen the same way he predicted the coming of Hitler, the Kennedy assassination, and many other important historical events.

“Few young people: half-dead to give a start. Dead through spite, he will cause the others to shine, And in an exalted place some great evils to occur: Sad concepts will come to harm each one, Temporal dignified, the Mass to succeed. Fathers and mothers dead of infinite sorrows, Women in mourning, the pestilent she-monster: The Great One to be no more, all the world to end.” Nostradamus wrote, in what many interpret as a prediction of the events to come.

Now, whether or not this necessarily indicates zombies sprouting out of the ground is questionable at best. Some historians are under the firm belief that Nostradamus’ prophecies are purposefully vague, leaving room for many different events to become “prophesied”. This may not have even been a prediction at all. There is evidence to indicate that these words were used not to prophesize some coming event, but used as a rebuke in one of his letters to a friend.

Regardless, the CDC’s zombie preparedness guide approaches the concept in a logical manner, stating straight out that “As it turns out what first began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform”. An examination of the blog doesn’t feel as if the reader is being fear mongered or as if the situation’s level of threat is being purposefully manipulated in any way. Rather, the acknowledgment of the situation and a no-nonsense solution feels rather soothing to any readers that might’ve been drowning in terrifying images or an echo chamber of equally terrified internet users.

The actual blog is just an accumulation of the same tips that would be heard for a natural disaster. That is, to stockpile supplies and stay put in a safe location. These tips, as well as an outlined order of events for quarantining and government intervention, don’t differ much from what’s expected of a viral breakout (such as the current covid-19 pandemic).

“Though comical in its supernatural element, it’s nice to see that the government has a plan for any possible danger. It feels like they’re showing everyone that they’re prepared to keep us safe, especially since the more superstitious of the people are already scared of the predictions for 2021.” Radha Pingle, a freshman at Wayne Hills commented. While she initially laughed at the post, upon further reading, acknowledged the solution as a pragmatic one.

Hopefully, the future doesn’t hold any of the terrifying predictions set for the year 2021. But the phrase, “It’s better to be safe than sorry” holds true in this setting. Whether or not the zombie apocalypse actually happens, at worst the CDC article was just a humorous preparedness post. At best, the article makes people consider the possibility and (if it were to happen) prepares them for the situation.

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